2006 Skits >> What is Love

"What is Love"

As recorded by Jono from the Introductory Skit Meeting

Plot Synopsis

Inspired by the mario and luigi hats, and red and green Lupin jackets,
which survived from last year, we started kicking around ideas about
Mario and Luigi and Red-jacket Lupin and Green-jacket Lupin... somehow
we arrived at the idea of Mario and Luigi trying to pick up chicks at
some kind of 'A Night at the Roxbury' - inspired bar, with the "What is Love" song
and the head-bobbing and the glory that is 'What is Love'
(Check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_night_at_the_roxbury for synopsis.)

So maybe Himemiya Anthy is at the bar, and Mario tries unsuccessfully
to "pick her up" or "hit on her" or "mack daddy all up the joint" or
whatever you kids call it these days. And Anthy finally rejects him
and says "I think you're in the wrong kind of bar" before leaving with
another woman. Oh ho ho, it is a lesbian bar. This is funny. Then
Mario and Luigi are depressed. And then Shonen Bat rides onto stage
with his golden rollerblades and clubs everyone upside the head.
Perhaps right before this, Mario could do a bit of soul-searching,
existential inner monologue, like the victims in Paranoia Agent do
right before getting assaulted. Perhaps not.

Also, the bartender could be Maromi (the pink mascot thing from
paranoia agent). "It's not your fault", he/she/it tells the
devastated Italian plumber men.

Also, it was pointed out that one of the actors in the execrable
live-action Super Mario Brothers movie looks a lot like porn star Ron
Jeremy. I don't think there's any elegant way to work this into the
skit, though.

A possible sight gag, playing into the whole mario brothers thing, is
to have a box with a question mark on the front and (unseen to the
audience) an open top, with some cardboard coins or something inside
it. Another actor or a stage ninja could hold it in the air while
Mario or Luigi jumps into it from below, knocking stuff out. We'd
have to do a proof-of-concept to see whether this would be feasable
and look remotely good. Maybe, to emphasize our heroes' lousy luck,
the coins they retrieve from the question block are insufficient to
pay for their drink. (typically obtuse UCJAS humor).

Script as refined through many meetings

Cast:
Mario: Andrew
Luigi: Eric
Maromi: Cat
Anthy: Ariel
Lakitu: Sushu
Utena: Cat
Shounen Bat: Geoff
Stage Ninja

Intro: You've beaten the boss, you've gotten the one-up, and now it's time to kick back and enjoy a cold one...

>> Music of Mario entering the pipe.

• Mario runs onstage to stage left, followed by Luigi encumbered by the suits.
• Mario spin and victory sign.
• Luigi barely manage victory sign

>> End of Level music in SMB
0:05 >> Tankmusic background. 15 seconds to "3-2-1 let's jam"

• They high five each other at the beginning. At the beginning of the bass, throws off can and dons fedora (2.5 measures of bass), flips on jacket during talking. Turns around and strikes pose at the "3-2-1 let's jam" (Everything here must be very shiny. They're just the shit, man.)

0:20 >> Music cuts into "What is Love"
Mario and Luigi bop for awhile as bar gets on stage. They then walk towards stage right, as Anthy and Maromi hang out at bar. (with help with stage ninja)

• The two walk to the bar, pose, sit, head-bop, and order a drink from Maromi. They check out the women.
• Synchronized head swing towards Anthy >>Sound: mushroom coming out of ?, or a general Mario schwing sound<<. Mario and Luigi gulp down their drinks.
• Mario and Luigi hit on Anthy through exaggerated hand motions
• Dance in front of Anthy, Mario slowly shoves out Luigi
• Mario summons Lakitu (Luigi moves back), punch out a coin >>sound<<, flaunts it, and rubs Anthy's back lecherously. (dis be mah woman, bro)
• Luigi goes back to bar and talks with Maromi. Stomping. Maromi nods sagely, offers drink on the house.

0:55

• Utena comes on, sees, pushes Mario away >>music stops<<. grabs Anthy. "I think you're in the wrong bar.. ::Lakitu shows otherside of cloud with appropriate symbols:: ::Utena notices Luigi:: oh, nevermind." >>cue waltz music<<
• Utena and Anthy waltz off stage right to , with much shininess, twirliness, and a dip. Onstage kiss right in front of Mario. (Circle around Mario and Luigi. Anthy looks relieved)

• Mario is despondent and goes for a drink. When clunking down on bar... >>Mario death music<<

>> Music change?

• Mario tries to get coin from Lakitu brick, but produces only a poison mushroom. No money to buy drinks!
• Maromi: "It's all right, it's not your fault. Here" ::shove beer::
• Mario grabs beer

1:29>> cue sad violin music

• "Every time...it's, 'Sorry, Mario...*dramatic pause*...but your princess is in another castle!' >>Luigi start operatic music that begins to take over<< Sometimes I feel like I just can't continue. I saved the world! I've defeated Bowser... but it's never enough! It's just like Dashboard Confessional Says... >>Music: String Quartet version, or William Shatner style spoken world.<< >>music drops out<< I can't take this anymore, when's someone going to save *me*!?"
• Meanwhile, Luigi rolls his eyes, makes fake violin motions and chats with Maromi.

1:49>> Sound of Roller Blades

• Shounen Bat comes on stage and whacks Mario >>one-up noise<<
• Luigi: ::pause:: one foot on Mario, Victory sign >>Sound: triumphant!<<

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